The Sacrament of Penance for Teens

Seeking Forgiveness and Healing

Confession, penance or reconciliation - these are all names used for the sacrament of Penance. By whatever name, this sacrament of forgiveness and healing can be scary for many teenagers (and many adults). Why? First, we all have trouble admitting that we've done anything wrong. Second, like taking a test in school, the sacrament of Penance requires some preparation and work if you really want to do it right. But that's where the similarity with test taking stops. If you prepare yourself properly and confess with an open and honest heart, there's no way to fail and there's nothing you can do wrong.

Understanding Our Need for Forgiveness

The word "penance" comes from the Latin word paenitentia, which means sorrow or regret. When we seek forgiveness through the sacrament of Penance, we are expressing sorrow for what we have done wrong. Our sincere expression of sorrow involves:

        *    Searching our souls and hearts to locate our sins - those things

              that keep us from God.

        *    Recognizing these things as sins - as bad things - and not just

              as personal choices of which the Church happens to

              disapprove. We have consciences that help us determine right

              from wrong, but if our consciences are not developed by

              following the word of God and the laws of the Church, we can

              fool ourselves into believing - as many people do - that there's

              really no such thing as sin. We must be willing to admit that

              there are such things as good and evil, bad and good, and

              then we must look at our own lives and see where these

              things live. As John tells us, "If we say that we have no sin,

              we deceive ourselves..." (1 John 1:8).

        *    Being truly sorry for the sins in our lives. We regret having

              done these things and pray for the strength to keep from

              doing them again. We must be willing to repair the harm

              done by our sins. That means if we have stolen, we must

              pay back. If we have gossiped about someone, we must ask

              for forgiveness or tell the truth if a lie has hurt a person.

Right now, you might be thinking that these are all things that you can do in the quiet of your bedroom or in another special place where you go to pray and think about important things. And you're right! You can and should have a place to go to have these inner conversations between you and your soul or you and your God. God will hear you when you pray and is ready to forgive your sins. Certainly, God knows your sins even before you speak or pray.

Understanding the Power of the Sacrament

But it is important to remember the Church offers everyone a sacrament of healing that goes beyond our quiet conversations with ourselves or our intimate talks with God. God and the Church offer us the sacrament of Penance. The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that God "has willed that his Church continue, in the power of the Holy Spirit, his work of healing and salvation." This, the Catechism continues, is the purpose of the sacrament of Penance.

The point of the sacrament is not for us to make a list of all the things we have done wrong. Rather, the point of the sacrament is forgiveness. The sacrament of Penance provides a place where we can begin to set our lives right with God and with others whom we have hurt. It is a place of conversion, a place where we receive a new heart and a chance to begin again.

The Church created the sacrament of Penance because, even though we are cleansed of all sin (even original sin) at our baptism, the weakness of our human nature remains. Even after baptism, we sin and fall away from God and his ways. The sacrament of Penance offers us the chance to bring our lives back to the way they were at the time of our baptism - sinless and close to God.

But why, you might be asking, does this require a sacrament and the presence of a priest? Can't I just take my sins to God myself? Of course you can, and you should. You can pray to God for forgiveness wherever and whenever you want. In fact, at the start of every Mass there is a short penitential rite where we all have the opportunity to tell God how sorry we are for those things we have done and those we have failed to do. But the Church knows that we need more than those few moments to recall our sins and get back on track with God.

We all have experience with secrets. Some of these are important to keep, like the secrets our friends tell us and trust us to hold in confidence. But some secrets can be destructive. More often than not, these destructive secrets are sins that gnaw at our souls and keep us apart from God. We need to confess these sins; we need to talk to someone about them. These sins should be confessed and forgiven by God so we can be close to God again, so we can move on with our lives. That's why the sacrament of Penance involves confession. The priest is there to listen and to offer God's forgiveness.

The sacrament of Penance also involves reconciliation, which means to set things straight. For that we also need help. We need the presence of God before us to listen and offer some suggestions for setting things straight. That's where a priest can help.

When a priest says the words of absolution that forgive our sins, he is not just mouthing an ancient prayer. He is celebrating a sacrament that actually confers forgiveness. His words recall Jesus, who was both a man who forgave the sins of those around him and the Son of God who died on the cross so our sins might be forgiven. Jesus said to his disciples, "As the Father has sent me, so I send you....If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them..." (John 20:21-23). We have only to ask for that forgiveness. Jesus is alive and forgives our sins through the ministry of his priests.

Jesus knew that we would need the help of another human being to understand the forgiveness that God offers. Sometimes we cannot fully know and understand our sins until we say them out loud to another person. It is important that we hear ourselves confess our sins and express our sorrow for them, and it is equally important to hear a word of assurance and forgiveness from someone else. That is the role of the priest in the sacrament of Penance.

When we confess our sins to a priest, we know that he will never repeat to anyone what we have told him. This is called the "seal of confession." The confidentiality of what we say in sacramental confession is absolute, and there have even been cases where priests have gone to jail rather than reveal something they heard in confession.